Sade is stinkin’ hot. Her voice. Her skin. That and she said she wants to cook me a soup that warms my soul.
I like that in a woman.
Archive for the 'Mindless Observation' Category
Sade is stinkin’ hot. Her voice. Her skin. That and she said she wants to cook me a soup that warms my soul.
It’s been a good ten days since I’ve written. Sorry about that. Life catches up I suppose. I am currently in a bit of new pain thanks to my laziness in an effort to put on sun screen while at the beach. Basically I just didn’t feel like putting it on and then I fell asleep on the sand for about a good half hour. I smuggly stood up, thinking nothing had happened. Two hours later I could see people staring at the unhealthy red glow on my shoulders and face. I’m an idiot. A big red idiot.
I’ve had too many of these life lessons recently. The school of hard knocks. Traffic tickets, my car getting towed, leaving my keys in the ignition after parking my car, picking fights with giant burly men. I wish I learned things the easy way.
My next endeavor will be to find a barber. The last time I got my hair cut was in Brazil and that was about a month and a half ago. I look like some kind of hybrid between Ringo and an Emo kid. My hair was not made to be too long. These days I’ll be wearing my baseball/trucker hat. Hopefully I won’t have to learn some life lesson like “it’s not cool to headbang while the barber is clipping your sideburns”. Or “don’t make fun of your barber’s momma until after he shaves you”.
You know, the basics.
I absolutely love a good breakfast. If I miss out on a good meal in the morning it shows for the rest of the day. Instead of seeing me smiling and joking, you’d probably find me frowning and drop-kicking. The great thing about Miami is that there are so many little breakfast joints on practically every block. The hispanics have really tapped into a market and made it better. Down here you can get a huge meal of eggs, bacon, french fries, toast and coffee for about $2.50. It’s brilliant.
There are plenty of things that I don’t like about hispanic culture here in Miami, but food ain’t one of them. Those Cubans can talk up a storm, but put them in front of a stove and you’ve got yourself the most delicious conversation you’ve ever endured. God bless ‘em.
Today is a good day. My belly is full, it’s Friday, and I still don’t have any classes. This weekend I’ll most likely go paintballing and skating and balling on the courts. If I could somehow combine all three of those activities into one, I’d probably be the richest man on this blog. But alas, I’m too lazy to start figuring it out.
Have a good day, everyone.
I was looking through some of my photos when I realized how many people think I’m funny. Infact, there are plenty of musicians who think I’m hilarious. Let’s take a look, shall we?
People Who Think I’m Funny:
Kenny Choi of Daphne Loves Derby
Bryan Andrew of Copeland
Byrnside of Roper
Jesse Carey of Relevant Magazine
Colin Rigsby of House of Heroes
Nathan Lee of Forever Changed
Daniel Castidy of The Fold
Summer Camargo of The Camargo Family
Unfortunately, not everyone gets my sense of humor. In fact, some of these high profile musicians get quite offended by my jokes and stories. Here’s the evidence…
People Who Think I’m Not So Funny
Christian McAlhaney of Acceptance
One Half of Brandtson
Dave Pelsue of Kids In The Way
Aaron Marsh of Copeland
I guess you just can’t please everyone. Maybe I should stop telling “A Stupid Musician Walks Into A Bar” jokes. Oh well.
The air tastes sweeter today. My projects are done, my shoes are off, and I can finally sleep a full 8 hours again… starting tomorrow. Tomorrow morning I have to set up for Juries at school. It’s that time again. There’s nothing like being judged at school. Any kind of negative feedback wears on me for about 10 minutes and then I’m glad the semester is over.
Today I went to the Brazilian Consulate and applied for a visa. I leave for Brazil in a week. I can’t believe the date has crept up on me so quickly. Apparently it’s freezing over there. They got their seasons all backwards or something. That’s why I never buy anything with an engraving that says “Made In Brazil” because it will most likely not work or start talking to me in a funny language. I’m such a jerk. I haven’t even been to the country and I’m already talking trash. But then again, It’s Brazil’s job to win me over. I can’t wait to go. I hope someone attempts to pick my pocket, giving me an excuse to do some crazy judo move and then say something real slick when they’re on the ground like. “I don’t play that, SON.” or in the words of Dog The Bounty Hunter, “I’m one hundred percent genuine fortified!”
I have a question. Why is Steven Seagal still making movies?
I recently posted this elsewhere in November of 2005. I don’t think it got the publicity it deserved. Hey, I’ve created a category called “Surveys” that you can find all my silly surveys on. Practical, yes? Anyways, enjoy. =D
1. Are you wearing shoes? I’m barefoot. But that doesn’t mean my feet don’t have feelings.
2. Whats the third letter in your name? I’m not falling for that one again. Last time I answered that I somehow ended up slapping myself.
3. How old is your pet(s)? It’s hard to tell, Scooby’s always lying about his age.
4. What color is your underwear? I’m not going to lie. It’s black, like my teeth.
5. Are you sick? Yo momma.
6. Are you in school? No, but I schooled yo’ momma! Ohhhhh!
7. Is the bathroom open? Yeah, but it’s one of those self-service bathrooms. Ah, to live in the Fifties…
8. Are you on a laptop? No. I’ve made a vow to only sit on chairs.
9. Are you watching MTV? What gave you that impression? Was it my sideburns?
10. Are you smiling? I’d say it’s more like a grimace.
11. Do you have on eyeliner? Nevermind, now I know how you figured out the MTV thing.
12. Is it early? 8:47pm. I could really go for some eggs and pancakes.
13. Are you blonde? Time to settle this once and for all. Ahem… Yo’ Momma.
14. Do you have a myspace? I don’t believe in myspace. It’s make-believe. Like unicorns and unibrows.
15. Are you in high school? Only for the milk. I miss my Velda Farm lunches.
16. Are you in love with your boyfriend/girlfriend? She’s in love with me. But don’t tell her I said that because she’ll start nagging me to death. And then we start arguing and arguing. Oh wait I’ve been single for 6 years.
17. Name three of your friends: Curly, Larry, and (you guessed it) Mortimer.
18. Biceps or Bicycles? Gotta go with Bicycles on this one, Trebek.
19. What color is your bathing suit? Mine is clear. That explains the single thing.
20. Does your school start in August? Does a bear crap in the woods? Didn’t think so.
21. Did you go on vacation last month? I called in sick on Valentines once. Wait, what was the question?
22. Have you ever been on a cruise? Let’s cut the small talk, shall we? I’ll dance with you.
23. Do you have a sister? I have two female cats. That pretty much equates the ego of one older sister.
24. Are you upstairs? Did you just call me dumb?
26. Do you have a friend named ralph? Yes. You can’t see him but he commands me to hurt people. And to double dip.
27. Does your name end with a Y? Oooh. So close. It ends with an ñ.
28. What’s your middle name? Xavier, thanks to Kristel.
29. Are your ears pierced? My left ear is pierced. And so is my left heart. You heard me.
30. Do you own a digital camera? Yeah, but the LCD screen just broke. Darn circus midgets.
31. Do you live in Florida? What kind of racist question is that?
32. Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend? I wish. Nobody nags me anymore.
33. Ever had sushi? Mmmm… Bagel Tempura Roll, Spicy Tuna Roll, Rock N Roll, Fruit Roll Ups, Roller Blades, Rolodex…
34. Are you listening to rock? If Emo is considered rock, then no. I’m listening to boys crying to acoustic guitar.
35. What color is your chair? Dark Grey. Whew, that was a hard one.
36. Where do you get your pants? It was a two-for-one sale at whocares.com
37. Chocolate or Puppies? They’re both delicious with pie.
38. Have you dyed your hair red? Only with the blood of hobos.
39. Are you tired? Tired of your dirty looks.
40. Do YoU wRiTe LiKe ThIs? Only when the full moon comes out and I turn into a Werechonga.
41. Are you an idiot? Do I get multiple choices?
42. Do you like being in a relationship with the one you love? A wise man once said that Love unites us all. He’s sleeping with the fishes now.
45. Is Alcohol Bad for the Soul? It’s bad for the breath.
46. Are you bored? Again with the multiple choice questions!
47. What time is it? 9:13pm. Where’s my breakfast, woman!
48. What’s your last regret? Uribe. Wait, what?
49. chocolate or peanut butter? They should make chocolate butter. I’d put it on my toast. And yours.
50. How many kids would u like? For breakfast?
I miss the days when I was a musician. I had a keyboard and piano lessons once. Then middle school happened and that dream went out the window. My latest fascination is with another percussion instrument, the drums. I can’t help tapping on my steering wheel and stomping my left foot while listening to any song. I want to learn the beat and I want to perform! I suppose the only thing stopping me from getting my own set of drums is myself. I don’t think I could afford one at this point and I’m pretty sure I’d have no place to put it. ‘Tis a nice thought though.
I’m almost inclined to learn the piano again. It’s hard not to get jealous when I hear awesome musicians like Ben Folds or Keane rock out on the keys. I could be the next Billy Joel, minus the goatee and the alcoholic problem. Unless it comes with the package. I guess that’s like saying I wanna be like Hulk Hogan minus the muscles and the fame. That leaves me with a blonde fu-man-chu and shaved legs. Gross.
Speaking of sandwiches…
About twice a week I go to this little sandwich shop in front of my school called The Metro Deli. It’s a pretty cheap place to eat and so close to school, so I usually stroll in after my first class to do some eating and studying. But the owner is such a jerk. Everytime I’ve ever walked in there I’ve heard him say some expletive about his employees. If you don’t like them so much, why don’t you just fire them and get a whole new staff of mess-ups you can complain about? Complete the circle of life. What bugs me most is that he says all this garbage in front of the customer: me. Ruins the whole digestive process. I guess dealing with people face-to-face day in and day out for the majority of the day can make an old man bitter. That, or a shortage of Prozac.
Fortunate for me I barely have to deal with people during my days. I sit in front of a beautiful glowing G5 Mac and only talk to about 5 people every once in a while. It’s quite peaceful. I suppose that’s what makes socializing at the end of the week seem so appealing. My weekends typically consist of wrestling dudes at the gym, watching movies with pals, going to church with amigos, and eating at restaurants or food joints with compadres. Ah the beauty of friendships. I can’t wait for the next gathering.
So there ya have it. Pianos. Angry Sandwiches. Friends.
