Sketchism

In honor of the most sacred worldwide holiday since International Talk Like A Pirate Day, I would like to answer a survey I found on the ol’ internet. And by internet I mean a myspace bulletin. (Don’t judge me. You know you have one, too). Only one question was missing this time. It is marked by an *asterisk.

1. Do you like anyone?
What can I say? I’m a romantic.

2. Do you have a bf/gf?
I have an AC/DC cd in the N.E. corner of my room.

3. Are you a player?
Technically, no. In theory, yes. Hypothetically, no.

4. Would you get back together with any of your exes?
Probably not. The whole chonga/hood-rat thing doesn’t appeal to me anymore.

5. Do you think you’ll get any surprise valentines this year?
I’m not sure how that can happen. And if for some reason a girl wants to date me hours before Valentines Day, she’ll be out of luck. I purchase gifts 3 months ahead of time.

6. Do you want a Valentine?
Ah what the heck. Gimme gimme.

7. Ever slept over at the opposite sex’s house?
Yeah. And I know what you’re thinking. Yes, I did put the toilet seat down.

8. Do you prefer group dates or single ones?
I can only date one girl at a time. But if you send me a request in writing I’ll be happy to accomodate all ten of you. Potluck!

*9. Fried Chicken or Fried Rice?
Ummm… fried rice.

10. Small kisses or makeout session?
A small makeout will do.

11. Do you like cuddling up and watching movies?
I tend to stretch a lot while I watch movies. And I yawn.

12. Any plans for Valentines Day?
Let’s see. One, avoid every couple I know. This includes my parents. Two, spread evil lies about “cheating” boyfriends and girlfriends all over the internet. Three, maybe do a little homework.

13.Whats the best valentines day present for a girl?
A Radioshack giftcard.

14. For a guy?
Chocolate, poetry, a back massage, and a little thing we like to call “seeing other people”.

15. Do you like Valentine’s Day?
Let’s rephrase the question, shall we? “Do you like spending money on mushy crap?” Yes. Yes I do.

16. Have any special traditions?
In the morning when I get out of bed I like to arch backwards and yell. And then I have to go number one.

This or That

17. Pink, White, or Red?
Nothing says I love you like a pale tone of white.

18. Chocolate or Roses?
I’ll have to go with chocolate. Roses go right to my hips.

19. Hugs or kisses?
Noogies.

20. Movie or Walk in the Park?
How about we watch the movie A WalkTo Remember.

21. Funny or Serious?:
I like a girl who can make me laugh. And dinner.

22. Dance or go on a Date?
Can’t we go to a nightclub?

Do you believe in…

23. Love at first sight?
How about love at first email.

24. Kissing on the first date?
I believe it exists. Yes.

25. How about true love?
Sure. Unicorns fall in love all the time.

26. Everyone has a perfect match?
I have a whole box of matches. Need a light?

27. Does someone like you?
Do deities count?