I recently posted this elsewhere in November of 2005. I don’t think it got the publicity it deserved. Hey, I’ve created a category called “Surveys” that you can find all my silly surveys on. Practical, yes? Anyways, enjoy. =D
1. Are you wearing shoes? I’m barefoot. But that doesn’t mean my feet don’t have feelings.
2. Whats the third letter in your name? I’m not falling for that one again. Last time I answered that I somehow ended up slapping myself.
3. How old is your pet(s)? It’s hard to tell, Scooby’s always lying about his age.
4. What color is your underwear? I’m not going to lie. It’s black, like my teeth.
5. Are you sick? Yo momma.
6. Are you in school? No, but I schooled yo’ momma! Ohhhhh!
7. Is the bathroom open? Yeah, but it’s one of those self-service bathrooms. Ah, to live in the Fifties…
8. Are you on a laptop? No. I’ve made a vow to only sit on chairs.
9. Are you watching MTV? What gave you that impression? Was it my sideburns?
10. Are you smiling? I’d say it’s more like a grimace.
11. Do you have on eyeliner? Nevermind, now I know how you figured out the MTV thing.
12. Is it early? 8:47pm. I could really go for some eggs and pancakes.
13. Are you blonde? Time to settle this once and for all. Ahem… Yo’ Momma.
14. Do you have a myspace? I don’t believe in myspace. It’s make-believe. Like unicorns and unibrows.
15. Are you in high school? Only for the milk. I miss my Velda Farm lunches.
16. Are you in love with your boyfriend/girlfriend? She’s in love with me. But don’t tell her I said that because she’ll start nagging me to death. And then we start arguing and arguing. Oh wait I’ve been single for 6 years.
17. Name three of your friends: Curly, Larry, and (you guessed it) Mortimer.
18. Biceps or Bicycles? Gotta go with Bicycles on this one, Trebek.
19. What color is your bathing suit? Mine is clear. That explains the single thing.
20. Does your school start in August? Does a bear crap in the woods? Didn’t think so.
21. Did you go on vacation last month? I called in sick on Valentines once. Wait, what was the question?
22. Have you ever been on a cruise? Let’s cut the small talk, shall we? I’ll dance with you.
23. Do you have a sister? I have two female cats. That pretty much equates the ego of one older sister.
24. Are you upstairs? Did you just call me dumb?
26. Do you have a friend named ralph? Yes. You can’t see him but he commands me to hurt people. And to double dip.
27. Does your name end with a Y? Oooh. So close. It ends with an ñ.
28. What’s your middle name? Xavier, thanks to Kristel.
29. Are your ears pierced? My left ear is pierced. And so is my left heart. You heard me.
30. Do you own a digital camera? Yeah, but the LCD screen just broke. Darn circus midgets.
31. Do you live in Florida? What kind of racist question is that?
32. Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend? I wish. Nobody nags me anymore.
33. Ever had sushi? Mmmm… Bagel Tempura Roll, Spicy Tuna Roll, Rock N Roll, Fruit Roll Ups, Roller Blades, Rolodex…
34. Are you listening to rock? If Emo is considered rock, then no. I’m listening to boys crying to acoustic guitar.
35. What color is your chair? Dark Grey. Whew, that was a hard one.
36. Where do you get your pants? It was a two-for-one sale at whocares.com
37. Chocolate or Puppies? They’re both delicious with pie.
38. Have you dyed your hair red? Only with the blood of hobos.
39. Are you tired? Tired of your dirty looks.
40. Do YoU wRiTe LiKe ThIs? Only when the full moon comes out and I turn into a Werechonga.
41. Are you an idiot? Do I get multiple choices?
42. Do you like being in a relationship with the one you love? A wise man once said that Love unites us all. He’s sleeping with the fishes now.
45. Is Alcohol Bad for the Soul? It’s bad for the breath.
46. Are you bored? Again with the multiple choice questions!
47. What time is it? 9:13pm. Where’s my breakfast, woman!
48. What’s your last regret? Uribe. Wait, what?
49. chocolate or peanut butter? They should make chocolate butter. I’d put it on my toast. And yours.
50. How many kids would u like? For breakfast?
