God has provided a new day, a new hope. It’s been hard to realize that for the past few weeks. This has been a life-changing month and I haven’t exactly prepared myself for it. Close friends have gone, responsibilities have shifted, work has increased, and the mood swings get higher and lower these days. I’ve found myself needing to be consoled more than I’m consoling others. It’s been a tough month.
There’s an odd comfort in being able to cry with people I love. All day yesterday I kept a lot of my emotions bottled in, avoiding eye contact and avoiding topics that might trigger an emotional breakdown. I barely managed throughout the day. Once in a while at work I’d remember all the feelings I was trying to bury and I’d have to retreat to a quiet place. As I attended dinner with friends Paola and David I heard words that reminded me of my leaving comrades and my eyes would begin to drip again. The drives to and from Kendall were occupied by high volumes of music blaring from my speakers, hoping the tunes would keep my mind wandering into to other directions. But as each track changed there were those brief moments of silence that burned a hole into my heart. By the time I got home past midnight my mom was waiting for me, ready to hold me and listen. That’s when I was finally drained out. The faucets were turned at full force and I could finally breathe again.
As I type this I can see the morning light peek through the window blinds into my room. All is not lost. God has provided so much for such a long time. As my faith is challenged every day I am grateful for friends and family who are willing to help me up the hill. It’s great to see the light again. The Warmth is so inviting. God has provided a new day, a new hope.
Well, I know what that’s like…trying to bury your emotions, tune them out w/ loud music, avoid eye contact w/ people, blink away tears. I know the feeling all too well. I often have too much pride to just…cry. But it’s necessary…and I sure do feel better afterwards.
I hope the service was a blessing to you. I’d like to hear your thoughts.
Well, I can’t say I know what’s going on in your life. It kinda saddens me b/c I think you’re an awesome person and a great friend…really. And I wish we could talk more…but I dunno…I’m not a very good friend, hehe. Hmm..sorry.
But I want you to know that I DO care and I DO pray for you. And I’m certain everything will be fine…you have a good head on your shouders and you have a lot of faith in the Lord, which is more important than anything.
It was nice seeing you at church today.
Oh! And one day we can be really big nerds and wear our Piggly Wiggly shirts on the same day, haha. Nice!
Hey Kristel,
Thanks for the kind words. I appreciate your friendship and your prayers more than you know. Forgive me if I can’t go into detail about what’s going on. Things are a bit blurry these days, but again I know that there is hope. I told someone this week that time heals all wounds, and I believe that. I’m sure things will clear up soon. Maybe school will provide enough stress to push most of this aside in the meanwhile. Haha. It’ll be fun though because I have some great classes. And great friends like you make it easier to heal.
We’ll have to catch up this week, all Piggly Wigglied out. Oh and I’m definitely going to that concert tomorrow, alone or not. Spread the word and get other people to come! Even if ya can’t go.
Ciao.
ugh..jealousy consumes me..
I’ve been listening to my Acceptance CD alllll week, hehe.
I will spread the word about the concert for you though. They’re definitely a band worth advertising.
Dude i’m the master of doing this and i’ll tell you it sucks.
I came to a realization that not letting it out when it wants to will make you dead inside. I’ve spent my half my life saddened at the thought of what was but look at whats it now. Your friends moved on they get to be better people. Your still in school so you better get moving. You have to reach that point you want to get to . I can’t feel for others the way i use to because everything is for a purpose and now that you friends are gone now is a time to
1 Focus a bit more for school why not!
2 make more friends.
Your an allaround awesome guy and your departed friends love you but you gotta share that love with those who don’t know you. I tend to not stick to a crowd because i get too comfortable and nolonger want to talk to anyone other than those around me. In trith, Its lame and sucky. I regret not talking to those who seem lonely or those who just also lost a friend i witnessed it. You are an awesome tool. Better than the Jaws of Life. admit that those are pretty awesome you rock Uribe and your goal is to win people over so get out there and kick arse. not literally
i second ‘roxx alvarado’. some real knowledge there.
i enjoyed seeing you & glad i saw you, ‘fore I hitched town. thinking / praying for you, but YOU GOT HOPE. and His is all you need, when everyone [general word] has moved off or turned their backs. [not in this case, but IT DOES HAPPEN.]
I believe that when people sell you out, THAT’S GOD’S WAY OF SAYING HE LOVES YOU. c.