Sketchism

Been thinking about what to do 2 years from now. I know I shouldn’t stress, I’m just keeping my options open. Things are going very well down here for now, though I’m starting to lose my motivation for the arts. This feeling kicked in recently, and it was a feeling I didn’t accept wholeheartedly. I love drawing, love painting, love to design. There are so many skills I want to learn.

Before I graduated, my art teacher warned me about staying down here in Miami to study art. He said I would get distracted by friends and family, things I’ve been doing for a long time. “If you really want to expand on your passion for art,” he said, “you gotta go on your own, find your own studio and lock yourself in there for hours, painting your heart out.” I have tried to find ways around this. I’ve gotten involved with martial arts, with a job, with my car, with a youth group, with stand-up comedy, and I’ve been with my church for the longest. I don’t regret any of these decisions, though I have been contemplating what to do for the rest of my education.

I’ve recently realized two things. One, I don’t have to rush things. A part of me wants to conquer all the potential talents I have now and right now. When I evaluate the past weeks, it seems that this is the reason for my reluctance to grow as an artist. School is weighing down on me like a tractor in a pool (Simpsons reference). The art teachers challenge us with different philosophies. This is artistic, that is not, look beyond it, look closer, see the space, there is no space. At the end of the day, I am hesitant to pick up a pencil, let alone create a color wheel for my 2D class. The challenge I was hoping to find in an art school has not adequetly met the need I strived for. It’s simply one contradiction after another.

Two, this is not what art should be. This weekend I spent hours adoring the artwork and illustrations of other artists online. It’s amazing how far people can go with their talent and skill. One artist says the best decision he made was returning to school, in order to pursue art and learn from students around him, getting feedback from those better than him. He admitted he started out with a big ego, thinking art school wasn’t for him until he decided he would make an investment in growing as an artist. He paid a hefty amount for this education, but in the end he believes it was the best decision. In the end money comes and goes, but how many people can say they get paid to do what they love?

I needed to hear those words. I want to continue being an artist. I’m just not sure if New World is the place for me to study. I’m going to take a second semester here and at the end of it I’ll decide whether or not to stay. I’m going to make the best use of my time down here, continuing the martial arts, comedy, church, philosophy discussions, time with my family and friends, job, and car. When those few months are over, I will hopefully be prepared for what ever the Lord places before me. I’m praying it will challenge me.